i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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