I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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