i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
