happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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