Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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