Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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