my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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