she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Girls should come with a carfax report
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
