nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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