She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
