If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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