Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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