doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
