my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
