she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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