is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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