The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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