I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
