the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
