Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
