Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
