i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
