Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(979): View more from Texas

Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.

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(979): Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight. http://tfl.nu/18md

Replies (85) Good night (13932) Bad night (1251)
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(847): View more from Illinois

.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......

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(847): .....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party...... http://tfl.nu/uwbu

Replies (7) Good night (1545) Bad night (4287)
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(404): View more from Georgia

His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.

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(404): His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me. http://tfl.nu/ej9i

Replies (17) Good night (6660) Bad night (1079)
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(631): View more from New York

Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?

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(631): Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells? http://tfl.nu/xi2s

Replies (3) Good night (3490) Bad night (929)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.

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(765): Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack. http://tfl.nu/n2jf

Replies (6) Good night (950) Bad night (2056)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying

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(609): Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying http://tfl.nu/j2oh

Replies (8) Good night (2917) Bad night (980)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?

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(250): is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling? http://tfl.nu/vsf9

Replies (2) Good night (1486) Bad night (544)
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(754): View more from Florida

Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.

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(754): Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam. http://tfl.nu/he4s

Replies (35) Good night (1259) Bad night (2457)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.

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(570): the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year. http://tfl.nu/g3sd

Replies (4) Good night (1591) Bad night (475)
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(310): View more from California

Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.

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(310): Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN. http://tfl.nu/m6qh

Replies (7) Good night (1089) Bad night (543)
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(419): View more from Ohio

When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.

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(419): When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all. http://tfl.nu/xpv5

Replies (7) Good night (1616) Bad night (550)
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(425): View more from Washington

So that wine I told you about is vile...

(360): View more from Washington

That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?

(425): View more from Washington

Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.

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(425): So that wine I told you about is vile... (360): That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it? (425): Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something. http://tfl.nu/ggqv

Replies (4) Good night (1216) Bad night (624)
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(972): View more from Texas

Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)

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(972): Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :) http://tfl.nu/7aie

Replies (1) Good night (800) Bad night (334)
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(817): View more from Texas

apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon

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(817): apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon http://tfl.nu/fh3y

Replies (2) Good night (993) Bad night (372)
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(517): View more from Michigan

We're going to party like we don't have spanx on

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(517): We're going to party like we don't have spanx on http://tfl.nu/7l0f

Replies (0) Good night (607) Bad night (495)

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