Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.

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(770): next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth. http://tfl.nu/is4b

Replies (22) Good night (1385) Bad night (2857)
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."

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(605): Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great." http://tfl.nu/846x

Replies (15) Good night (2531) Bad night (2771)
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(561): View more from Florida

She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again

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(561): She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again http://tfl.nu/1qi4

Replies (3) Good night (2245) Bad night (800)
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(661): View more from California

1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.

(1-661): View more from California

1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up

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(661): 1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place. (1-661): 1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up http://tfl.nu/wu9m

Replies (12) Good night (4346) Bad night (978)
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(360): View more from Washington

The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off

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(360): The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off http://tfl.nu/wmpp

Replies (4) Good night (517) Bad night (1666)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

What can I say, I'm a giver.

(1-608): View more from Wisconsin

Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.

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(608): What can I say, I'm a giver. (1-608): Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian. http://tfl.nu/c94l

Replies (11) Good night (1936) Bad night (563)
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(914): View more from New York

He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.

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(914): He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon. http://tfl.nu/hf2o

Replies (20) Good night (3358) Bad night (587)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling

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(781): No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling http://tfl.nu/pro8

Replies (5) Good night (1364) Bad night (1020)
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(830): View more from Texas

No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her

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(830): No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her http://tfl.nu/0ly7

Replies (11) Good night (2132) Bad night (524)
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(309): View more from Illinois

there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s

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(309): there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s http://tfl.nu/9pu3

Replies (13) Good night (1249) Bad night (647)
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(+33): View more from France

He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands

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(+33): He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands http://tfl.nu/mwrj

Replies (3) Good night (1065) Bad night (383)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.

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(973): Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me. http://tfl.nu/gl2k

Replies (3) Good night (518) Bad night (1021)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat

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(440): I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat http://tfl.nu/9vl7

Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (534)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy

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(615): Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy http://tfl.nu/f6ow

Replies (5) Good night (619) Bad night (293)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups

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(610): Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups http://tfl.nu/pbun

Replies (3) Good night (437) Bad night (198)

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