Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum