I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
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BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
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After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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