your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize