worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
