So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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