i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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