why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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