im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
