I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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