I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
