therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Hippo gnu deer
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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