We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
