I want to stick my p in your. b.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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