she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
