Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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