just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
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This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
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I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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