Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
