So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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