the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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