For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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