Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
