I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
