I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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