I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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