Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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