Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize