Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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