His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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