He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
