i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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