i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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