i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
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she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
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I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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