Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Randomize
