Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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