Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize