It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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